The truth is I've been having lots of problem with my bf lately. I know I hardly mentioned bout him here, but I believe some of you would have figured some of my previous blogs is bout him. we always seems like the perfect couple in every one's eyes. But some times, things does get tough between us. Lately, it had; and it had been like this for like four months.
Arguments and problems don't get resolves and with so many of our friends who had relationships for so long just broke up recently, our relationships had been strained. I'm lost, I don't know what can I do to make it better. I know I love him, but with him being so uncertain, I am starting to wonder is this man really worth it? I know, I have my insecurities, and I can really drive him crazy with it. Why can't it be like any other love story, when the girls feels insecure, the guy can reassure the girls that they can make it through, as long as they love each other. Sigh, why is his love seems so conditional and would only show in interest in me when I am there? I thought we are stable enough to go through the long distance. Is just another 2 more months before I move down. Why can't he wait a little longer? I never got used to not having him around, I still misses him, a whole lot. But seems like he moved on, with a life without me. I felt like I am the only one holding on, to a dying relationship. When I told him bout it, he says I think too much. But if you are making me feel so insecure for such a long time, is it really I think too much or is it you being very insensitive?
I thought we are working towards a common goal, marriage. But I really dont know and dont see how he was putting in efforts. Yes, when I am down, he spend time with me (occasionally sticks his face to the phone), but when I am not there, I still need him. You can't just stop communicate with me at all. The distance is pressuring and to not hear from you daily or tell me your stories so that I can feel like I am part of your life, is just making every thing seems so much harder. I'm stuck in a quicksand, drowning fast and I couldn't see a rope or any thing that can pull me out of it.
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