job hunting

Oh my goodness! There are so many job vacancies back home! *excited* Honestly, this is the first time I have a good look at the market back home. I knew there are heaps of potential jobs for me to apply for back there, but not as much as I think it would be. Some of them even encourage fresh graduates! Mean while, the NZ market looks pretty gloomy to me. With every single vacancies posted online, nearly 99% of them requested an experienced applicant. Which I don't have. Sigh.

Oh man... Is this your sign to me, God? What about the PR that I dreamed to have?

waiting.punctuality.time

For all my friends who knew me, they would have know that I am a very punctual person. I like to reach a place earlier than the supposed meeting time, hence I would also expect others to do the same. "Is better to be early than to be late", a principal that my parent had brought me up with. Is a good thing to be brought up with, and it would definitely give a little bit of credit in my work attitudes in the future; but I believe that I too can get carried away with it at times.

I can seriously get mad at my friends (close one, that I am comfortable enough to show my discomfort with) for being late, for even about 5 minutes. Nasty? Yeah, I know I am. And is something that I have been trying to talk myself out of it for so long. I just find it hard to find a reason to explain to myself this: why set a time, when you cannot comply to it? Having said that, if that person has a good reason, that is totally way out of their control, I would totally accept it and be fine with it. It helps more, if the person could just give me a heads up that they may take a little longer than they expect it to be. So? Is it too much to ask for? Isn't this an ethical way of doing it, instead of letting your friends to wait aimlessly for you to arrive (while you are taking your own sweet time, or could have just get ready a little bit earlier OR stop lingering around facebook/youtube)

Unfortunately, life also taught me that not every one will behave or think like you do. Sometimes, you just have to take it as it is. But it still sucks. How I wish I could just scream at them and say this, "LOOK AT YOUR WATCH! YOU'RE SO FREAKING LATE! NO! IS NOT OKAY, NOW APOLOGIES!".

words of encouragement:

I found this wonderful piece of post entitled "Talk to me Abba" from one of the blog I have been following, and I would like to share this with all of you who need to hear from God. This is what God is desperate trying to tell you...

"You belong to me. I will fiercely protect you and guide you through every dark corridor. You are alive. You are free. Although you feel as though your wings have been clipped, it is a lie. Your wings have not been clipped. Listen to me. Your wings have not been clipped. The enemy has deluded you into the thinking that you are no longer capable of flight, but he is a liar. Don't ask me to regrow what I did not allow him to steal from you. Look, even now, and see the bold, brilliant wings I have given you. Quit sulking and prepare for flight. Do not gaze upon the lack of love from others who claim to speak in my name. Wrap yourself up in this love, my love. Love back. Heal. Forgive. Cry out. Burst forth. Do not deny me. Fly with depth and intensity...in the plenitude of my power."

from "Terribly Interesting" by Stephanie Cheery

STOP

you have to stop. stop making it easier for other people to invade my heart....

doubts

I had such a great time being back here with my family and close friends that I really doubt if going back to NZ will be the better decision... Hrmm...