Bachelorette

Some may find it hard to believe that when I said I'm beginning to enjoy a life without some one special in my life, but the fact is I am. 

I find it easier to live without worrying what the other person would think or react, 

I don't have to think of ways to keep the relationship alive, 

I don't have to worry of not being missed, 

I don't have to worry not being part of his life, 

I don't have to worry of missing an important time or event in his life for being apart,

I don't have to work on the relationship any more. 

I can be myself, I pick up the dream I left behind years ago, I have more time to build more friendship, time to rest and most of all time for God. 

Love is a choice. Now my choice is to stop loving him.

Draining but satisfying for sure. Life is good.

Woah! Now that I'm only working 8 hours a day, my day seems to be as draining as my previous job (11 hours). Every morning, I'll go in and key in our client's data, then serve a few walk in clients before lunch hour. By 2pm, we have groups of clients come in big bus, so that will keep us busy for at least till 5pm. Then help out our admin staff before we go off work at 7pm. 

Now that I'm getting better with the machines (bone scanning device), I can deal with our clients with their reports next week! I've also got to learn how to handle the capillary scanning device. Seriously, these two machines are pretty cool stuff to play with xD. But yesh, is very draining but satisfying for sure =) After work, is revision for work, catching up with old friends and meeting some new ones too. Most of my days is so packed that I am starting to look for a day of just staying at home to rest. Life is good. 

Having worked at the normal office hours makes me realize that is actually very tiring at the end of the work day. Maybe if I can be more understanding back then, things would not had gone this worse. Then again, even if LDR is tiring, for the person that you love, I wouldn't mind putting in the efforts. That just show how important that person is to me. 

女强人

我不会那么容易被打败！

Marriage

My bff just told me that she might be getting married and returning home for good next year. I wasn't surprise with the news though. I can't wait for it to happen. I can be her maid of honors and it will be fun making it happen! 

But, it does make me wonders, bout marriage again. Is something that I want to have now, but not really want to have at the same time. I love having some one to be with, but I'm quite afraid of it as well. Then again, need to find a guy first now =p 

Work: 2nd day

Noooooooo.... I suck so much on my presentation skill. Time to kick it up Ginny!

First day of work

First day of work. It was fun despite feeling all drained and confused with all the chinese words.

 Looking forward to tomorrow =)

Church. Cell group.

I just attended my first cell group meeting just now. The cell members are really friendly and they  gave me a very warm and fuzzy feeling inside. I'm glad I made it, plus, is so close to my old house too. Worship session was without any music instruments, just our plain voices worshiping and singing praises to God (maybe having the leader in worshiping team singing in our cell group helps a bit =p) We studied on the book of Mark, chapter 14. I think is a good passage to prepare us into Easter. For the first time, I get to celebrate Easter out of Dunedin. I'm looking forward to it =)

I think I've been very pampered by God lately and I'm loving it. Thank you oh Lord!  

Death, the ultimate action of grace

Showdown at the Sketchy Motel

By Kitti Murray

Our story may not be entirely the same as the couple in here, but I wish we could have adopted their method.

End of Profesional Bummer

So I got the job. The end of my holidays in between jobs. I must say, I would need to work a lot harder for this coming job. Is going to be my career and I'm sticking to it this time.

However, on the other hand, I would have to give up my dreams of going down to SG. My last hope of being there, or rather to be honest, to be with him. So yeah.. that's all from me now.

Interesting airport.

Gibraltar International Airport 

reminds me of your passions in airports... 

十八岁的恋情真的很难忘

我试过了， 真的很难忘掉。谁有任何意见？

Profesional Bummer: Day 9

I attended the church service just below my condo today.

I woke up early and did my yoga/ stretching exercise as usual. Then, it hit me that today is Sunday. I've got to go to church. I jumped up and went to get ready. The service was good, and the worships songs is easy to follow for first timer. I signed up for cell group too. The people is nice, but I think I'll just keep it a few more try to see how it goes.

I've been putting off going to church a lot when I was working in Malacca. I thought I shouldn't find a church since I would not be here regularly. However, I've been feeling very dry up for a very long time and is time for spiritual growth.

I'm not asking for more

I am just keeping my distance the way you did to me. I'm not asking for more, so please don't tell me what I shouldn't or don't have to do.

I think that is only for courtesy sake that I'm giving gifts for celebration that I was invited but cannot attend. Give me back my integrity.

Profesional Bummer: Day 7

YAY! I got an interview~~ this place is just a 10 min walk from my house. Though the pay is not much, but I think the career advancement should be good. I'm looking forward to it.

My initial intention was just to try out for interview and get bit of interview experiences. I'll just leave it to my big Papa up there. You know what's best for me right? xoxo

Professional Bummer: Day 6

Is mom's birthday today!  I got the email from my baby brother from NZ, and compiled a short video for her. Then, applied a few jobs in SG and start browsing the internet again. I remembered telling my ex Boss that after my mom's birthday I'll head down to SG. But is it really a good idea?   Is it really God's plan? I think part of my reason of going down will still be because him. Not the main reason, I would say, but he will still play a small role in it.

I can't help but to feel like God still want me to go down there. Hrmmm... oh well, if really is, am sure He will open some doors for me. Till then, job hunting has officially began again =)

Seriously, too much bumming around is making me sick and lazy. So I'm forcing myself to sleep by 12 and wake up by 8:30am every morning. Do a little bit of my Yoha/Stretching exerise and follow by breakfast (need to keep a healthy lifestyle/ get use to normal office working hour). Hopefully, I don't have to wait too long for it.

Profesional Bummer: Day 4

I went out with an old friend yesterday. He made a very good point about me and made me think a lot more about myself.

"What do you really want?" He asked. "I don't know what I want", I replied. "After being away for nearly 7 years, studied overseas, worked for a year plus, I still come back to square one. I'm afraid that what I want now, is not what I want in the future later".

"No, you do know what you want. You are just afraid of making mistake. Afraid of losing." I was struck by it. After all these years, he still knows me best.

"Just because you haven found something that you really want to commit to, doesn't mean that you never will", he said. Actually, I did found something that I want to commit to, a man to be more exact, but he broke my heart by calling it off. 

I guess is time to reopen the pandora box again, to discover what I really want and commit to making it happen.  

Profesional bummer: day 2

I woke up at 9am this morning, I thought I can sleep in a bit since it was a late night yesterday. Oh well, maybe I should keep up this habit, sleep early and wake up early.

I spend the whole day doing nothing. Well, maybe some thing... I sew a nice little skirt fro my dog, re-installed the Sims 3 (and the rest of the expansion packs that I failed to instal before), hang out with mom, resend some emails to my ex- company and help cook a small meal for my parent. So there you go, life of a professional bummer.

I'm getting bored. Some one ask me out. STAT.

Professional Bummer: Day 1

Just a brief description of my first day as professional bummer: packed my room, set off to tour around Malacca town, went to the cafe I wanted to try for ages but to find that is not such a big deal (as compare to the recommendation on TV, I still think the first cafe I discover on the other street is better), came back to hostel to clean and set off. The sky was gloomy as I head back to Kl, and it was very similar to the state of my emotions then. Sigh. Malacca will always have a place in my heart. The memories, the people...

Then, as the night sets in, I went out with CW for a night out. It was fun going out again, but I guess it was with a wrong group of people. I was the only girl there. No fun playing darts when I suck so much at it. I was so bad that the darts hit the TV on top of it, instead of the dart board. LOL! But yeah, it was nice to see every one again. Played some cards and I got forced to finish my drink in a short period of time. NO FUN. Thankfully, CW help covered me at my second round. The worse part of the night? I broke my favorite heels!!! Well, I should have got it fixed first, but I just got back, and I really like to put on my heels again.. so oh well. Now I really have to get it fixed... (@.@)

I thought

I thought you would still care, but I guess I thought wrong.

Bliss

Life without any to do list on your calendar, a bliss ~~

2ND last day

真的很依依不舍。。:(

Blessed

The company dinner that I had yesterday night was the last. It was a night filled with so much laughter and joy. I was so happy that I find it hard to go to bed after that (it was 3 am by the time we finished). I can't stop looking at the pictures over and over again. I am really going to miss this place. A big thank you for you all! XOXO

The last

I've just deleted the last conversation with him from my phone. It took me a while to figure out how to remove a chat from viber. I still couldn't. so, I deleted every single messages on my viber.

Does it signify any thing? More out less. For a brief moment, before i hit the delete button, I still try to remember his number... i deleted his number earlier, so this is the only chat left with his number on it. I knew that if this stays, I'll start messaging him again.

Now that this last chat is gone, I can stop myself from looking back, in a better way.

Hate to leave

I'm starting to miss my current company now. I might not be the favorite nor the least favorite person in the company, but I'm sure that every single one in the company had played an important role in the past 18 months of my life.

they can really drive me crazy mad at times, but are also times that they lend me a helping hand when I needEd one. They taught me so much.

I had a really good time here and I hate to leave :-(

How true.

The couple that are 'meant to be' are  the couple who go through every thing that are meant to set them apart, and come out of it stronger.

Enlightenment

I just realized that I replied no for my intention on moving down to Singapore for E.

For the first time, I can answer that question without any doubts.

But where?

Two dear friend of mine has asked me to think about what I really want. One asked me to think for myself. The other asked me to think about what I want from the relationship. To be honest, I don't know. Maybe K is right, I need to go and find my soul. Just pack up and go. I'll like that very much. But where?

是这个人，没错了

如果真有那种一拍即合的爱情就好了，
不需要暧昧的你来我往，不需要花太多时间去培养，
我已经没有力气去玩猜测的游戏，因为我怕会受伤害。

我们想要的，大概就是那种，
你看一眼就知道，是这个人，没错了

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