my unspoken view

As most of you have heard, E is going back to S'pore this coming April. Some of you may wondered and have asked what is going to happen between us, if he goes back. Mean while, I have also received several comments, advice and critics from all parties. So here is what I really think.

Q: If E is going back to S'pore, what about you?

Me: We will have to go for LDR. Is not that we haven done it before. The first 6 months of our 3 years relationship, started on LDR. We decided to keep this relationship going despite our circumstances.

Q: That was 3 years ago, things have change isn't it? Your needs from 3 years ago may differ from what it is today.

Me: Yes, I agree and thank you for pointing it out. The reason why last summer of LDR was a bit rough may be a result of it, and I am not going to let it happen again. I will definitely talk to E about it and see what we can do about it.

Q: why can't you be more supportive about E going back to S'pore?

A: No matter what E decided to do, he'll always have me at his back. The thought that I am going to stop him from going back has never even crossed my mind. In fact, I have been trying to tell him that going back to S'pore isn't a bad idea at all. Just because E refuses to go back to S'pore, does not mean that is all due to my influences. He has a mind of his own, and I will never or be able to force him to do what he refuses to do.

Honestly, my view on E going back to S'pore, isn't exactly a bad idea at all. I think that is so much more better than the endless waiting and rejection that he has been going through here. Having said that, I will still hope. hope that he may actually find a decent job before he is forced to go back. Yes, I will definitely miss him, but that does not mean that I must have him by my side all the time. Is not good for the relationship, as well as for E himself. However, the fact that he can go back to his family and friends back home, is more than a good reason to go home. So stop telling me to be more supportive, when things are already so hard on us.

GLEE - Regionals "Get It Right" Full Performance

I am so angry right now. I am angry at him, but most of all, I am more angry with myself. I just can't believe this is happening to me. I can't believe that I led myself into this. I can't believe that I allow this to happen. I can't believe that I do not know how to take care of my heart. I can't believe that I am getting hurt again.

I am just feeling all emo now... Mean while, there is this song that I really like from Glee..

What have I done? I wish I could run
Away from this ship goin' under
Just tryin' to help, hurt everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is
On my shoulders
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight

Can I start again with my faith shaken?
'Cause I can't go back and undo this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes
But if I get stronger and wiser
I'll get through this

What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight
So I throw up my fist
I will punch in the air
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair
Yeah, I'll send out a wish
Yeah, I'll send up a prayer
And finally, someone will see
How much I care!

What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight

my mom has left the building

I know this maybe a little too late to post this up, since my mom was long gone for about 4 days by now. Having said that, I am still missing her to the bits. It hurts not to see her, sitting at the corner of the bench top (with her facebook game), every time I walked through the doors. yeah, my mom and her obsession in facebook's farmville. haha. It hurts too, not being able to see her every morning, making breakfast for me or to simply enjoy a meal with her. Now that she is gone, I am too lazy to make myself a good meal and also forced to have lunch alone. Though E is around, but it just feel different when you have your mom with you. I am sure that every one can relate to that. When mommy is around, we can be the most pampered child on earth.

I miss my mommy =(

Things that I do when my bf is not around

Went lunch with my girlfriend, catch up with the rest of the people I bumped into, take a power nap, shopping with mom and brother, fixed a shoe rack until 11pm =)

who says that you'll need a guy to fix a shoe rack, I did it all by myself ;)